How I Learned To Do Chair Massages Part 5

Smile Brightly

Officially the grounds opened to the public at 10, but everybody told me not to expect many customers until 12 when the carnival opened, and most people don’t come on Fridays until they get out of work at 5.  That hundred dollar break-even point was worrying me, so I smiled brightly at the five or six people who passed my tent that morning and inviting them in for a massage, and they all said no thanks. Jerry had told me that she had charged $10 for fifteen minutes and never had a problem getting paying customers, but judging from the snort I kept getting when I told people my price, they thought $10 was way too much money to spend on a massage. 

Since I wasn’t making any money anyway, I spent quite a lot of the day visiting my new friends and asking if they had any advice. It was Shawn who suggested offering a free one minute massage so people could judge my work, and that did get several people to stop. But they all said the same thing; “Man, did that feel good, but now I don’t need a massage,” and they would walk off to buy a t-shirt. It took about three times before I got it, and the next one got one hard squeeze on the top of each shoulder. It was just enough to start relieving their muscle pains, but left them wanting more, and my success rate jumped to about fifty percent. 

Sander gave me another good clue. He said that this was a little country festival in the middle of nowhere. Most local residents didn’t make much money, or have a very exciting life, so this festival was one of the few things they splurged on during the year. They spent their money taking their kids to the carnival and buying them elephant ears and candied apples and corn dogs. 

When they went through the vendor’s area, they were looking for cheap clothes or Christmas presents, and a lot of people just go through to fill their time, never intending to buy anything. From that perspective, the ten dollars they’d have to pay me for a massage would pay for quite a few carnival games, where they had a chance to win a giant purple bunny. I took his hint, and decided I’d rather make five dollars, than none. 

Lots Of Peanut Butter Starts Tomorrow

How I Learned To Do Chair Massages Part 4

Twenty Dollar Sleeping Bag

This was the last part of May, and since I’d just bought a lot of expensive equipment and would only be camping in summer, I had decided to buy a cheapy little twenty dollar sleeping bag that was suppose to keep me warm in 42 degree weather.  Even with all my clothes on, including all four pairs of socks, I still froze that night, and ended up taking a walk at one in the morning to get myself warm enough to sleep. It was kind of creepy to be walking around carnival rides in the dark, especially the animals on the merry-go-round. With no lights on, they looked rather menacing. 

I thought I’d be warmer if I could get out of the wind, so I put my blankets and pillow down on the back seat of the car and crawled into my sleeping bag. Then I basically skooched across the seat and curled up in the fetal position. It was much warmer that way, and I did manage to fall asleep for a few hours, until everybody started waking up wanting coffee, breakfast, and a porta-potty, not necessarily in that order. Actually, the call of wild was pretty strong for me too, but I was extremely stiff, and found it was much harder to get out of a car while wrapped up in a sleeping bag, than it had been to get into the car. That was when I discovered that the problem with being the massage therapist, is that I couldn’t relieve my own stiffness and muscle aches.

Smile Brightly Starts On Monday

How I Learned To Do Chair Massages Part 3

 My Name Is Henry

Once I had my old rickety camp cot made and everything looking spiffy inside the tent, I took a tour of the place, and found a good looking young man named Shawn setting up his chain saw carvings. I offered to help him carry things, and fell in love with a wooden bear that just seemed to say to me, “My name is Henry and I want to go home with you and be your door guard.” So I traded my new friend four chair massages for Henry.

Shawn was built like a brick shit house, as my grandmother would say, and I was glad Jerry had recently taught us how to do “Deep Issue” massage, because nothing but my elbow would get through all that muscle. He was a sign maker by trade, but creating beautiful things using nothing but a chain saw and a sander was his passion.

From there, I talked to lots of other vendors. I followed the sound of a ukulele to Sander and his brother Nickolas, who had made their livings for the last thirty years selling CD’s of their homegrown music and any junk they thought was interesting. Though their musical style wasn’t exactly my taste, they wanted to trade a CD for a massage. For good measure, they threw in a green cat and blue dog balloon figure they make for kids.

I figured that since I didn’t have any money invested in inventory, I wouldn’t be losing any money in this trade. But I found out that the real value to me wasn’t in the DC, (or the animal balloons); it was in the friendship and their offer to tell all their vendor friends to come see me for a massage.

How I Learned To Do Chair Massages Part 2

The Mesick Mushroom Festival

 My first event was the Mesick Mushroom Festival, which was roughly two hours straight west from my home. Figuring about $40 for gas, plus the $50 vendor’s fee and my food for three days, I’d have to make a hundred dollars just to break even.  Jerry said I’d be smart to arrive the day before the festival opened to the public so I’d have plenty of time to set up and get to know people.

It was kind of a thrill to pull up to this huge field filled with RV’s and tents, and find a gate that only those with a vendors pass could go through. I know it’s silly, but being able to go through that gate and being lead to my spot by a “Fair Official” in a golf cart, made me feel kind of special. Granted, I had paid a whole lot more for that privilege than Joe Public paid to get in, but Joe Public wouldn’t be getting a personal tour to show him where the trashcans, the porta-potties and the water spickets were located.

Right next to my lot, Ray and his wife Scotty sold very tacky looking lawn ornaments of Big Bird and Mickey Mouse and such for $2 to $5 a piece.  Right across from me, Jena was hanging very elegant and expensive home decorations on a frame, but all three of them dropped their preparations to help me put up the tent, which was a good thing, because I had no clue how to do it.

They told me where to find a campground that had public showers, and I was more than willing to pay $12 over the next three days so I could have a nightly shower. They also told me where the best restaurants were, and how to take the short cut to the gas station if I wanted hot coco before the fair food vendors opened up for breakfast at 8 in the morning. 

“ My Name Is Henry” Starts In Two Days

How I Learned To Do Chair Massages Part 1

You’ve already read my experiences learning the basics of Trigger Point Therapy in the “How I Got Into TPT” posts. I partially financed that trip to Kentucky, and now make a good chunk of my living, by doing chair massages at various fairs. Here’s the back story. Our massage therapy instructor (I’m going to call her “Jerry” because it’s faster than always having to type out “Our Instructor”) taught us how to do chair massages, then took us to a fancy motel in Bay City to get practice on people who were attending some convention there. I made a lot of tips there, so when they asked if anybody wanted to come back the next day, I grabbed the opportunity.

Yes, it was an hour’s drive each way and I’d have to make at least twenty dollars just to break even.  Fortunately for me, nobody else in the class wanted to pay for the gas, so it was open season. I had no business experience at that point, and no clue how to market myself, so I just smiled a lot and talked to people and told them stories, and before I knew it, I was swamped. Plus, they invited me in for their fancy dinner.

Jerry told us that she used to do chair massages to fairs and festivals and made quite a lot of money, so, I stayed after class and picked her brain. She said that if I was going to do this professionally, I’d obviously have to buy my own chair, for roughly $150. I’d also need a shelter to work out of, and it would be helpful to put a carpet down in case the ground was wet. She also said a lot of people are uncomfortable about being massaged in public, so I should have a screen.

A neighbor let me have her screened-in tent, the local furniture store cut off a big chunk of old carpeting for me, and Jerry let me use her bamboo screen. But my car was too small to fit it all in, so I didn’t take the carpeting or the screen with me.

Continued Tomorrow